Today I was supposed to be on a plane on my way to the highlands of Scotland to celebrate my birthday with my husband and friends, sipping whiskey and eating haggis. Instead, I’ll be in front of my laptop, working. And that’s OK. If there’s one thing I’ve mastered these past few years is the ability to adapt and to accept.

Today I’m 44 and I’m not slowing down. I have plans. I have dreams. I have goals. I aim high. I never wing it. I never guess. I am a glass half-full kind of woman and I’m making the most of this life and loving every second of it. It wasn’t always like that, and this is what I want to share today.

Turning 40 was tough. I had the best birthday party ever, but IT. WAS. TOUGH. The days that followed felt like a hangover that could not get cured – and not from alcohol, but from a deep pain that kept telling me “you’re old”. I began thinking of all the “negative” things that come with aging. I began researching “my symptoms” (never a good idea) and realize it was gonna get worse. Oh great.

You see, after 40 most of us believe that we’re entering a declining stage. We buy the best anti-wrinkle creams, jump on the next fad diet, and fight the inevitable proximity to menopause like a medieval battle; because you know… menopause is the ultimate sign that we’re old. We worry about the UV rays on our skin, the chemicals in our food and pollutants in the air – all of them “proven causes” of premature aging, but we fail to address what make us stop living in the first place.

We age not just by turning another year older, but by the way we choose to live our lives, because yes, it’s our choice.

We age by holding on to anger, and guilt, and shame. We age by not releasing in due time the negative emotions that makes us and keep us sick – mentally and physically. We age by holding onto toxic relationships that do nothing for us but fuel our grief. We age by not nourishing our bodies, minds and spirituality. We age when we stop doing the things that gives us pleasure… whether that’s dancing, eating, traveling, singing, playing or having meaningful intimacy. We age by not loving our bodies, and stop doing things because “too old for that”. We age when we put our needs last and while caring for everyone else’s instead. We age when we forget to find joy every day, in anything. We age when we forget to be thankful and forget that we’re blessed.

It’s not all fun and games either….

No, I’m not a Pollyanna either. I get angry, but not angry forever. I get sad, but I don’t hold resentments. I get frustrated (I’m married to a Libra like me!), but I can speak up and be opinionated without ever being afraid to do so. I raise my voice, but also apologize if I am wrong. I don’t avoid conflict, but I can walk away from it and be OK. Learning to let go has been the best anti-aging remedy I’ve used, and the one that keeps my mind and heart young.

After I came to terms with aging, I decided to do it at my own pace. I adapted to changes and I accepted what comes with it. A year and half ago I decided to start my ageless journey. Shamelessly. I start each day by putting joy out into the universe, because I know I get back exactly what I give. I let go of the fear of judgement, from everyone and anyone. I let go of the fear of not meeting someone else’s expectations of what I should be, say or do. I learned to love what see in the mirror, because all I see is the woman of my dreams. I chase pleasure, as much as my body desires. GUILTLESSLY.

I dance to the beat of my favorite songs, I sing to the top of lungs, I travel to places that feed my soul, I surround myself with people that love me, respect me, appreciate me and make me laugh; and, most importantly, I accept nothing less than a wonderful partner and lover that holds my hand through it all, and keeps reminding me of the confident, sexy, loved, thunderous, unstoppable AGELESS woman I’ve become.

Here is to the best years yet!